Soil and Strife

Walking composition

“I hate it when humans and augmented humans ruin things for no reason. Maybe because I was a thing before I was a person and if I’m not careful I could be a thing again.”
—The Murderbot Diaries 5: Network Effect, Martha Wells

I found myself saying a silent thank-you to the farmer guest on the Building Local Power podcast for her discussion of compost and her early start as a gardener and tiny plot farmer. One of my difficulties with soil this year has been the realization that all the books (like The Soil Will Save Us) and documentaries (like Kiss the Ground) about soil deal almost exclusively with the work of large farmers and landowners.

Somehow, it feels similar to what prompted me to write a book about walking even though I felt like I’d said everything I wanted to on the subject. Nearly everything that was out there felt like it was for people with the luxury of leisure time, for people who wanted to live like Thoreau or wander like Wordsworth, not for stay-at-home parents or people working three jobs to get by or single moms. Surely there is soil-reparation advice for busy moms with two jobs and a small fenced-in garden?

Surely the soil out behind me, the ground I am responsible for, deserves just as much care as several hundred or thousand acres on the plains.

—-

I’ve been reading Kelly Brown Douglas’s small, powerful book Stand Your Ground: Black Bodies and the Justice of God, which tracks some of the origins of white supremacy and white nationalism—and eventually the U.S.’s Stand Your Ground laws—to the Roman general Tacitus’s admiration for Anglo-Saxon social structures (which mutated later into admiration for Anglo-Saxon bloodlines as intertwined with those structures) in the first century CE.

Douglas is also an ordained Episcopal priest, and clearly has a good handle on the kind of rhetoric that sermons demand. Her book is compellingly written and provoking a lot of thought, one sideline of which is mixed with Patrick Wyman’s The Verge: reminders of just how much war the European continent faced for many centuries, pretty much constantly for hundreds of years until the end of World War II. The abuse that continent’s soil has suffered, the blood and suffering it’s absorbed. How the soil itself isn’t exhausted from sorrow and strife is beyond me. Maybe it is, and not enough people are listening.

—-

I might never know what the soil I live on has seen, good as well as bad. Which shouldn’t stop me from honoring it, caring for it, repairing it where possible. I don’t know if I’ll ever get the knapweed and thistles out—and am, as I am every winter, relieved that everything I’ve failed to care for is now covered in snow—but there is something about digging up a clod of stiff, clay soil and seeing it jam-packed with wriggling worms that gives me heart. We’re here, living, the worms say. Doing their work, regardless of the attention I or anyone else gives to the dirt. It makes me want to care, to gentle and coax that soil into . . . what? Some kind of courage.

—-

Some stuff to read, listen to, or watch:

  • A conversation about sleep had me looking up science journalist Rebecca Boyle’s excellent essay 2014 in Aeon about artificial light and increasing disruption of sleep cycles, “The end of night.“The loss of night-time darkness neglects our shared past, but it might very well cut short our futures too.”

  • A friend alerted me to a 2019 Indian Country Today report on Yvette Running Horse Collin’s dissertation on the presence of horses in North America in pre-colonial times: “Collin theorizes that because horses were a symbol of status and civilization in Spain during that time, and because conquerors needed to illustrate the Native people as savage and uncivilized to justify their conquest to the Queen of Spain, the truth about the relationship between Native peoples and the horse was purposefully distorted.”

  • I have to admit I laughed while reading this letter to Outside about moving to a cabin in the Montana woods to write and hating it, but I’m sharing because Blair Braverman’s response is a lovely example of clear-eyed firmness leavened with compassion: “For every insight, ask yourself why. You wish you could watch television instead of watching your wood stove every night. Why? Because you’re bored. Why? Because your rituals aren’t as meaningful as you thought they’d be, and you want a distraction from your own mind. Why? Because being in your mind reminds you that you’re not the person you thought you were. Why? Who did you think you were?”

  • I was taken enough with ethnobotanist Cassandra Quave on the Smarty Pants podcast talking about her book The Plant Hunter that I went down to the bookstore and ordered it.

  • Jeremy Lent on the Futures podcast talking about his new book The Web of Meaning gave me a bit of an optimistic uplift when I sorely needed it: “Actually there is a moral compass in life. And that moral compass comes from a deep interconnectedness with all of life. Each of us actually is life.” At some point I’ll actually get to his enormous Patterns of Meaning, which is sitting on my research-not-for-pleasure TBR pile.

  • This Scotland Outdoors episode about Walking Libraries was just delightful. I love the idea of a walking library! What book might you take on a long walk, or to remind you of places you’ve walked? The Walking Library site has tons of suggestions, from novels to straightforward guide books—I’m tempted by the idea of walking around with one of their Walking Library backpacks, maybe some future less busy year.

  • Are myths about the Seven Sisters—the Pleides constellation—the world’s oldest story? Australian science professor Ray Norris has been researching myths throughout the Southern Hemisphere, and found that variations on Seven Sisters stories are ubiquitous, and might date back 100,000 years: “‘Lost Pleiad’ stories are found in European, African, Asian, Indonesian, Native American and Aboriginal Australian cultures. Many cultures regard the cluster as having seven stars, but acknowledge only six are normally visible, and then have a story to explain why the seventh is invisible. How come the Australian Aboriginal stories are so similar to the Greek ones?”

  • This 15-minute documentary about Gaelic songs in Scotland and how they connect culture across generations, When the Song Dies, had me longing for something, and not just Scotland (a place I often feel strangely homesick for). Folk music does that, a reminder that we have deeper connections than most of our daily lives acknowledge.

The shape of gratitude

Walking composition

“She felt herself ill-used and unfortunate, as did her father; and they were neither of them able to devise any means of lessening their expenses without compromising their dignity, or relinquishing their comforts in a way not to be borne.” —Jane Austen, Persuasion

I’ve been thinking a lot about gratitude the past few days, which is coincidental with the Gratitude Day holiday—a holiday that happens to be my favorite purely because it traditionally contains zero pressures with regards to consumerism or having to Make Things Magical (see: Easter Bunny and Santa), but every year I wish more that a national holiday could be made with the same food intentions but unrelated to the story we were told in school while choosing whether to make a Pilgrim hat or Indian headdress. I grew up in the 1980s in the U.S. There was no nuance when it came to colonial and Native American history. I am glad that my kids can come home from fifth grade and tell me that Columbus was a jerk and they don’t understand why anyone is meant to celebrate him.

That gladness is relevant to my non-Thanksgiving-related pondering over the question of gratitude. What are we grateful for, vs. glad about? And what demands of gratitude do others make upon us?

—-

I recently finished reading Patrick Wyman’s history book The Verge, about the years 1490-1530 (culminating in the Sack of Rome), and while I didn’t find it nearly as satisfying or well thought-out as his Tides of History podcast, it did have a lot of information about Christopher Columbus’s navigational skills, the world of mining and oppression that shaped Martin Luther, how the money-lending and banking activities of Jakob Fugger aka Jakob the Rich enabled the Spanish King Charles I to buy votes enough to secure his position as Holy Roman Emperor (I think it was that Charles; there were a lot of names and dates and battles and principalities crammed together in short spaces and I often lost track), and how European monarchs as well as Ottoman sultans of that period were expected to make war.

Mostly that last. It was hard to grasp the defining narrative of the nine human biographies that shaped the book’s chapters, but it seemed to boil down to finance. How finance was created, how it was funded, and how it enabled to success or failure of war as well as the merchant activities that linked the European continent together, and with England; and how it underwrote the ventures that led to massacres and slavery in North and South America.

Finance (and its relationship to wealth) is a slippery thing, one that I’ve never understood very well and I’m afraid this book didn’t help. But it did remind me how much these systems are entwined with property, conquest, rebellion, subjugation, and (self-) entitlement. At several points while reading the book I was reminded of writing an older piece on Maurice Minniefield and the entitlement of American gentry.

Entitlement warps humans’ relationship with gratitude. Entitlement tells you that there’s some law of nature saying if you own something (or someone), you earned it, no matter how it was procured. And if you share even a little, then others should be grateful.

—-

I’m not sure what that emotional relationship is, but it’s not gratitude. I am grateful for the snow-crisp day we just had, for my family and friends, grateful for the trees around and people in my community who are doing real work.

There’s a lot of research on gratitude at this point and how good it is for the human brain. And there’s a lot to be grateful for in many of our lives, certainly in mine. But to be forced into gratitude, or to be told to be grateful even when the crumbs of generosity are scraped from a banquet crafted by injustice, doesn’t seem like a healthy thing. It seems telling that two synonyms for gratitude are obligation and indebtedness.

What is the word, then, that I’m looking for? I am glad that some things have happened, that some are possible; to be grateful for them cheapens the word and the gifts it brings to us as fully living beings. Maybe “glad” is it. Or maybe there’s some other word out there that I haven’t yet come to. I’d be grateful (truly) for suggestions.

—-

Some stuff to read or listen to:

  • Someone sent me the new Land Grab podcast, about the roots of Montana’s housing crisis and how they “lie deep in Montana’s self mythology.” Much of the hosts’ work is based on K. Ross Toole’s Montana history lecture series, which I’ve linked to before but it’s really worth revisiting if you ever have the time. There are only a couple of episodes so far; I’m curious to see if the hosts will find their way through the thicket of mythology and the narratives of exceptionalism.

  • This piece on Medium by a high school biology teacher really stuck with me, in part because so much of the narrative twist relies on the role she plays as a trusted teacher. I don’t want to give it away; you’ll just have to read it: “I took a red marker and wrote the phrase in question on the board: There is a small, tear-drop shaped bone in your heart that regulates blood flow. I asked the class, ‘Is it true?’”

  • Anthropology professor Karen L. Kramer writing in Sapiens about the child-rearing practices she observes in the communities she works with says we have education all wrong: “While children freely range in and out of the adult spaces, they have an autonomous social life that they create among themselves. Working and playing in mixed-age groups embeds social learning in everything else children do. What children learn from their peers is how to establish social order: organize among themselves, share responsibilities and rewards, engage in healthy competition, and develop the capacity for tolerance, coordination, and personal initiation. In short, how to become a successful participant in society.” Which reminded me a great deal of developmental psychologist’ Peter Gray’s book Free to Learn and the mental health consequences of taking away children’s need for movement as well as educational autonomy—short message is: children need to play.

  • A trio of sleep/cognition researchers writing in Aeon about the exciting new world of people want to inject advertising into your dreams: “Ultimately, the key question at hand isn’t necessarily whether or not dream advertising can influence people’s behaviour (it can) or if large-scale sleep-related advertising is cost-effective (still unclear), but rather if we, as individuals and as a society, think powerful marketers and companies should even be allowed to collect massive datasets on the workings of our brains during sleep, let alone to exploit or manipulate them.” Yay.

  • Also in Medium’s OneZero, Cory Doctorow writing about Apple’s right-to-repair reversal: “Never forget: the war on repair is really a war on the public interest. Companies have a strong preference for you to organize your affairs to maximize its shareholder benefit, even if that comes at your personal expense.” This is kind of a big deal, and comes on the heels of movements like the one by farmers to get John Deere to let them repair their own tractors.

  • The most recent episode of Vaccine: The Human Story was a beautiful reminder both of compassion, and of the importance of trust in human societies. The podcast is about the history of smallpox and its vaccine, and this episode covers the birth of the anti-vaccination movement in 1800s England. The host relates the resistance to lack of trust in government by reminding listeners that this was the same British government that approved the 1819 Peterloo massacre in which cavalry charged 60,000 peaceful protesters asking for voting rights and representation reform: “It is perhaps the greatest tragedy of this story that the miracle of vaccination was so mishandled by authoritarian government . . . the smallpox vaccine became associated in the minds of the very people it could help most with power, control, and subjugation.”

  • After hearing that I’d been up hunting in the Sweetgrass Hills, an old family friend sent me a link to the piano music of Hi-Line resident and composer Philip Aaberg, whom I’d never heard of before but subsequently spent Thanksgiving Day listening to while cooking. It seemed fitting, somehow.

Hunting for the story of gratitude

Last week, thanks to a birthday gift of time and a guide, I went elk hunting for the first time and clipped my tag at the end of a long, frigid day with biting winds. After nearly nine hours of following a herd across steep terrain, my legs felt stiff and incapable of one more step, my toes had long since lost all feeling, and my fingers only functioned thanks to the ample supply of hand warmers I’ve learned to pack when hunting.

It was gorgeous.

I fell in love with hunting the very first time I went out four years ago (my parents hunted throughout my childhood—venison was almost the only meat we had—but I was never taught so am what’s called an adult-onset hunter). The silence of the woods, the way that snow slides off the trees, the squirrels scolding and the ravens calling overhead. I once stood for at least twenty minutes watching a flock of chickadees twittering about between three trees. It was one of the most delightful things I’d ever seen.

I did things like that for three years, spending 30-40 hours alone in the woods each season in between work and mothering and the rest of life, before I ever successfully got an animal (and even that was essentially in a friend’s yard out of town), and never felt like a moment was wasted.

Hunting almost ruined hiking for me forever—I still love hiking but cannot escape the question, every time I step on a trail, “Why am I trying to go somewhere, and why so fast?” There is so much more to get to know off the trails, without a schedule or destination.

There’s also room to contemplate: your life, your day, your sorrows and joys, the meaning of it all, if there’s purpose to humanity, or a human. To sink into the realization that there is a tremendous amount going on in the world when humans aren’t looking. Even the little pockets of state-owned land near my home grant that feeling; within earshot of a highway I can step into a different world where things grow and communicate and interact to an unknown yet deeply familiar rhythm, a longer timeframe that I think we still recognize and crave somewhere in our DNA.

Gratitude comes easy at these moments. I certainly felt it elk hunting: to my family for making it possible, my sister for thinking of it in the first place, and our mutual friend for helping arrange it through a hunting outfitter she knew well. To the guides for bearing with me patiently all day and the one who brought me tequila at the end of the day “to see if you were still alive;” and my friend who taught me to both shoot and hunt and is always ready for a conversation about ethics. To that friend and my brother-in-law for spending a day later in the week helping me prepare the elk for the freezer.

Deepest of all to the animal herself, the land that supported her and her community; to the Blackfeet for whom that land was home and storied long before white ranchers claimed it as theirs. More complicated gratitude to the rancher himself for allowing hunting on that land.

That last gratitude is a struggle, not for the gratitude itself, but for the shape of it; the thanks I’m able to give the landowner is a totally different thing from what I feel for the elk whose life I took and the land that supported her and the people who truly belong to that land. They’re not the same feeling but the word wraps around both. I wonder what kind of belonging the rancher feels with and for the land that our legal system says is his? I hope it’s something like a partnership, that he finds connection in it.

It’s all these things that brought me to a strong position of public land advocacy several years ago. It’s why I spent this last year doing advocacy training through Artemis Sportswomen, and why I’ve written about the freedom gifted by public lands—how they’re the holdout legacy against the enclosure of the commons that began some 800 years ago, a taking, a theft, that has never ended. How all of our more abstract freedoms were formed and shaped in forest courts that determined people’s ability to sustain themselves from the land they lived with. How we have to grapple with the fact that these North American public lands, which give us freedom, were stolen in the first place and how we face that fact going forward.

Advocates of all stripes, as Chris La Tray wrote about in his newsletter last week, like to say that private property is bedrock. But private property is simply a story that we tell ourselves, a story that’s been around so long that many people seem to think it’s a law of nature, like gravity. It has taken many different forms over the centuries and will continue to do so—we could have a Right to Roam, like Scotland, or we could double down on No Trespassing signs and armed enforcement of boundaries. Either is a story we could choose. What’s bedrock is the land itself. What we think of as higher freedoms, even what we think of as citizenship, are in fact deeply grounded.

It’s also why I try to work in my own community to find ways to make it livable and affordable for all, why I give my time to committees and city council meetings and our truly wretched state legislature. I want where I live to be a place that remains a delight to reside in and a place where normal people can afford to do so.

That last is a struggle that right now we’re on the badly losing end of, but it’s one that I believe everyone who has the ability and time should devote themselves to working on, wherever they live, and even if they’d rather, like me, just spend their time out in the woods away from these more intractable problems. Tracking elk was incredibly challenging, but it’s nothing compared to persuading people not to widen a highway, or figuring out how to actually make in-town housing affordable in ways that don’t just depend on crumbs from developers. If we can’t make our own communities good places to live, then we’ll lose everything else that matters to us, including the public lands that provide us with clean air and water, solace and mental rest, and the basic ability to offset a little of our hard-earned income with food gathered in other ways, not to mention what they provide the rest of non-human life.

The elk I brought home was on private land, a place of nearly indescribable beauty where the Sweetgrass Hills rise steep and lopsidedly timbered and you can look north to Canada just three miles away, or west to the Rocky Mountain Front, a view that never ceases to be magical. My feet strained to stay stable on the steep, slippery, snow-covered hillsides as I thought about private land and public access and “please don’t let me drop my rifle.” The next day, driving home, it came to me that the stories that particular land holds, its own stories, are far larger and deeper even than the first glimmers of human ownership some seven or eight thousand years ago.

A story I might never get to know, but if I interacted with it in any way on that day I hope it felt my gratitude.

Sunset over the Rocky Mountain Front.

Connection and trust

Walking composition

“Violence may begin as a contest over resources, but it often ends as a contest over meaning.” —Karl Jacoby, Shadows at Dawn (as quoted in Lauret Savoy’s Trace)

It finally snowed this morning, like snowed properly at my house, not just sputtering flakes but a whole soggy inch that hours later is still there. I thought, “I should take a photo of the snow to share on my newsletter but it’s kind of bleak and gray out and surely there will be nicer snow days to share.” And I’m sure there will be, and I will share them. Today, I couldn’t take a picture that made me feel anything about the snow—which I love—that was greater than what I felt just looking at the actual snow. That is, the photos I took flattened the snow-joy and the way that snow makes me feel hopeful because I always worry about climate change and the snow we will lose, and no photo will make me either more or less hopeful.

This photo, instead, is of someone’s mask that has been sitting on a sidewalk for at least a week and I’m confused and fascinated by it. Confused because I’m constantly confused by the many cloth masks lying around, in the same way that I’ve been confused for years by the sheer quantity of coats and gloves and water bottles and backpacks accumulated in the elementary school lost and found—don’t people notice these things are missing? (My kids have lost countless gloves and sweaters and hats and coats and I have dug through those piles for every single one.) Fascinated because I can’t help but wonder the reasoning behind this person’s choice of mask. Are they wanting to make a political point? A patriotic one? A declaration of personal independence or loyalty? A conversation starter?

The most legible part of the mask, “We the People,” obviously from the Preamble of the U.S. Constitution (obvious partly from the lettering but mostly from the smaller-font Articles peppered across the mask), means so many different things to so many people. Who are We? Who are the People? What does this person think is meant by “a more perfect Union” or “promote the general Welfare” or the “Blessings of Liberty?” Is what they feel about those words different from what I feel?

I Googled “We the People” on my browser (Safari) to remind myself of the exact wording of the Preamble. The first search result wasn’t the Constitution, but “We the People” holsters. I went to a Google Chrome Incognito window because maybe it’s just me and my hunting-related search history but nope, same result.

—-

Last week I read Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead, which I’ve never read before because I don’t work in the corporate world and it didn’t seem relevant to me and it’s not my kind of book anyway. But because every year seems to bring a deeper level of community engagement for me, and I have actually gotten a lot of internal guidance from Brown over the years, I picked it up.

There’s a curious exercise in it where Brown provides a huge list of values and asks readers—or groups of people that she’s working with—to choose just two:

“Choose one or two values—the beliefs that are most important and dear to you, that help you find your way in the dark, that fill you with a feeling of purpose. As you read them, you should feel a deep resonance of self-identification. Resist holding on to words that resemble something you’ve been coached to be, words that have never felt true for you.”

Values you have been coached to be. That’s a huge one. To pause, step back, and wonder how many values are core for you, and how many are values you’ve been coached to prioritize. I almost wonder if figuring out which are coached values, grafted onto your core self, might be a more uncomfortable process than figuring out the true ones.

The list of value options is stupidly long—including space to add more that occur to you—and I thought, “How is anyone meant to narrow their guiding values down to just two out of this massive list?” Anticipating that objection, Brown writes that,

“I’ve taken more than ten thousand people through this work, and when people are willing to stay with the process long enough to whittle their big list down to two, they always come to the same conclusion that I did with my own values process: My two core values are where all of the ‘second tier’ circled values are tested.”

That line was what made me go back and actually try. Because “community” and “connection” are right in proximity to each other and I know that at least one of them would be in my list of two. Everything about writing a book about walking that surprised me ended up having to do with the fact that walking and walkability always circled back to community and connection. I can cheat, I thought. They’re so entangled in my mind that I can have both of them and something else, too.

But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that community might be, for me, an iteration of connection. It’s connection that I value; community is the medium. Community is what humanity uses to manifest the best of connection, along with the other value I chose, which was an immediate no-brainer for me: trust.

—-

There’s a great line at the end of Robert Moor’s book On Trails, in the section where he’s in Morocco mapping a potential trail that’s a kind of extension of the Appalachian Trail, to which it would be linked geologically from when the continents formed one giant land mass. It was a difficult journey, not physically but due to some cultural differences that proved challenging to bridge, and led Moor to think about what connection truly means in a digital age when “connection” can happen in a microsecond but psychological connection has not changed its speed:

“We can travel at the speed of sound and transmit information at the speed of light, but deep human connection still cannot move faster than the (comparatively, lichenous) rate at which trust can grow.”

(Just on a writerly note I love the use of the comma between “comparatively” and “lichenous” here. Wonderfully intentional.)

Much of what I’ve been reading and listening to recently winds up back at trust, no matter what the subject, like the Conspirituality podcast, where I’ve been roaming around sampling their conversations. I was particularly interested in their talk with Lee McIntyre (author of How to Talk to a Science Denier) and how strongly he emphasized interpersonal trust and relationships—and even more curious, how the interview led the hosts themselves to question and examine their own trust in one another.

And then I ended up sharing C Thi Nguyen’s Aeon essay on echo chambers and cults with a friend (I probably share this essay with people more than any other), which led into a long text conversation about trust and relationships and our own self-examinations—for example, I am deeply mistrustful of charismatic leaders, I told my friend. That’s not true of everyone; for many, it’s the opposite.

I keep finding myself in these conversations recently, possibly because there really is so much fractured trust and political/social tension in the valley where I live, and I don’t have any good answers. “Be, or become, someone people can trust” is all I’ve got sometimes. If I ever met the person who owned that Constitution mask, trust—and its companion curiosity—might be the only avenue to understanding their own values, and what connects us.

How far can trust be stretched before it breaks? When meaning and goodwill are no longer extended across divisions, is it trust that falls in between, lost and forgotten?

—-

Some stuff to read, listen to, or watch:

  • Ed Roberson’s Good News from the American West tipped me off to Elliott Woods’s new 12-part podcast Third Squad. Woods is an Iraq veteran and became a photo-journalist afterwards embedded with Marines in Afghanistan. He’s now a journalist based in Montana. In Third Squad he talks frankly about war and trauma while traveling across the U.S. meeting with the surviving veterans of the Marine squad he had reported on before. It can be hard listening, though I think it’s incredibly important, but if you don’t have time or desire to listen I strongly recommend his 2016 TEDx talk in which he discusses what it’s like to be in combat and return as a veteran to a country where hardly anyone seems to remember the war exists: “Stare into your own eyes in the mirror and ask, ‘What responsibility do I have in all that has been done in our name?’”

  • Also from Ed Roberson, an uplifting interview on his Mountain & Prairie podcast with Montana cattle rancher Matt Pierson about Pierson’s work to bring meat to food banks and families in need across the state, and what he’s doing to make that work an ongoing concern.

  • Novelist Rosalie Metro writing in The American Scholar about what it’s like to experience whiteness as a Syrian in America and its opposite as a Syrian in Germany: “My grandfather worked six and a half days a week for decades to make sure his children had a firm foothold in the white middle class. He was proud of his Syrian heritage, but he didn’t let it limit his children. . . . But when people pull themselves up by their bootstraps, there’s often someone they’re stepping on.”

  • I really enjoyed this War on Cars conversation with Michael Hobbes (co-host of the popular podcasts You’re Wrong About and Maintenance Phase) for the way they dive in deep to pick apart moral panics and the ways in which journalists/media outlets frame stories to push a reaction when there’s no there-there.

  • The infrastructure bill that the U.S. Congress passed is disappointingly heavy on perpetuating car dependence in America, but it does have quite a lot of money for walking, biking, and other multi-modal transportation. The Rails-to-Trails Coalition has a pretty good breakdown. If you’re in the U.S. and involved or want to be involved in walkable/bikeable communities, this is essential information, especially if you want to advocate for active transportation use of discretionary funds.

  • As someone with generally low energy who could probably be happy sitting in a chair drinking tea and reading books all day every day, I found Nick Paumgarten’s New Yorker piece on energy really interesting, though a little frustrating in the threads it left hanging, especially at the end (if you found yourself high in energy after spending quality time walking and conversing with a good friend, wouldn’t you want to go look into research on connection/relationships/loneliness/walking and mental health? There’s a lot of it!). I also found it weird that he kept mentioning his drinking habits but never went into the ample research on alcohol’s effects on the REM cycle. I’ve definitely seen a difference in sleep quality when drinking vs. not drinking. But also, for all the life hacking devices Paumgarten experiments with, what about looking into the ways that modern life is just fundamentally exhausting?

  • I just started reading Patrick Wyman’s book The Verge, about the years 1490-1530 and how they shape our present, so Karla Mallette’s essay in Psyche on how 12th-century Genoese merchants invented risk was very timely. (I’d never thought about risk payments being a workaround for Christian and Islamic laws that forbade earning interest on loans.)

  • I found this Aeon essay on the six narratives of globalization and what we get wrong about them a bit confusing at first (the use of fox and hedgehog methods of interpreting information eludes me), but overall it’s clear and makes sense of the different understandings of globalization and what we might be missing if we’re using one narrative while an interlocutor is coming from another, not to mention how we build our own trust in sources: “Our survey of competing hedgehog narratives suggests that the debate’s centre of gravity is shifting away from the old establishment consensus in at least two respects: questions of distribution, both within and between countries, are increasingly central; and noneconomic values, whether environmental, social or security-related, are increasingly qualifying or outweighing a primary focus on efficiency and growth.”

  • A subscriber sent me this fantastic interview on the Econtalk podcast with law professors Michael Heller and James Salzman on their new book Mine! How the Hidden Rules of Ownership Control Our Lives. I loved how they started with the example of an airline seat: You have purchased your seat, and the person in front of you has purchased theirs, so who owns the space in between—the person who wants to work on their laptop (or keep their knees intact), or the person who wants to recline their seat? Ownership, they keep reiterating, is a story we tell ourselves. I couldn’t agree more.

  • I loved this Scotland Outdoors interview with author Baz Nichols on neglected landscapes: “Very often when I walk, particularly in a remote or bleak place, I willfully get lost. And by getting lost you go off the maps and can find rich pickings creatively, and spiritually.” Yes, please.

Reframing history and adapting to shifting historical narratives

In the third book of C.S. Lewis’s Chronicles of Narnia series, Voyage of the Dawn Treader, there’s a scene that has stuck with me as a good lesson for many times and circumstances, but especially those that require adaptability when facing great change.

In the book, Eustace, a self-entitled and unpleasant cousin of two of the main characters, has been pulled into Narnia along with them, tumbling from our world onto Prince Caspian’s ship Dawn Treader, and is having a miserable time. One day, as the ship’s crew is exploring an island, Eustace wanders off and finds himself in a dragon’s cave. The dragon is breathing its last just outside, and Eustace, his heart full of the treasure hoard he’s stumbled upon, falls asleep on piles of gold. He wakes up a dragon.

There are lots of little lessons in Eustace’s story about greed and grace (I had read these books many times as a kid before being told they were Christian allegory), but I’ve always been most taken by the scene where the god-lion Aslan tells Eustace what he must do to be free of the dragon self he has become. He has to scrape off the imposed dragon skin and then wash himself clean of it in a well.

Unable to interact fully with the other humans, Eustace is even more miserable as a dragon than he was as a boy; isolation and loneliness have become his defining experiences in just a few days. He is ashamed of himself and desperate to become human again.

So he follows Aslan’s instruction and scraps the skin off, layer after layer, increasingly desperate each time he descends to the well water and sees his reflection, still a dragon. He can’t seem to make any progress. Finally, Aslan tells him he’s not going deep enough. The lion will do it for him but it will hurt. Eustace recounts his experience to his cousins the next day:

“I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate now. So I just lay flat down on my back to let him do it. The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart. And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off.”

Aslan then tosses Eustace into the well water, where he discovers himself once again to have the skin of a boy.

I’m told that C.S. Lewis intended this as a tale of conversion and baptism, but I’m far more interested in what it says about the pain of facing change in our own identities, in how we perceive the world and our place in it. Change is hard. Until we face it, we don’t know how painful it is, especially in a culture that devalues or even scorns adaptability and willingness to change.

When we see adaptability as a weakness, we get rupture, fear, and mistrust—we’re almost destined to experience change as something as brutal as ripping off our own skin. It’s a lot easier to lash out with any power we have in an increasingly desperate need to force everyone else into the worldview that makes us feel safe.

Riane Eisler makes sense of this reaction in her book on domination versus partnership cultures, Nurturing Our Humanity, showing, for example, the links between authoritarian upbringings and a tendency to support authoritarian politics. Referencing research from psychologist Else Frenkel-Brunswick, developer of the F scale that gauges comfort with fascism, she writes that:

“People who scored high on this F scale had typically grown up with a great fear of punishment in families with powerful authority figures. [Frenkel-Brunswick] also found that people from these kinds of backgrounds—in her words, people from families where roles were ‘clearly defined in terms of dominance and submission’—tended to develop an ‘us versus them’ mentality and to support strongman leaders. . . . People from authoritarian families also tended to lack tolerance of ambiguity and have a strong aversion to complexity.

“And that is not all. Recent brain experiments indicate that the experiences that lead to this mental rigidity actually leave their mark on the brain—and that these brain patterns appear to affect people’s political orientations.”

People who described themselves as “very conservative,” wrote Eisler, were slow to shift away from “preconceived or habitual ideas.”

“For children in abusive domination families, it is far too dangerous to disagree with their parents, let alone blame them for the pain they inflict. . . . Hence the frequent idealization of punitive parents by their adult children, as well as the tendency of people brought up this way to idealize ‘strong’ leaders and scapegoat ‘weak’ out-groups.”

For children raised in this way, authoritarian leaders feel safe because they conform to what the child’s brain was forced into accepting and adapting to as “safe” while they developed and survived.

Eisler’s research came to mind a lot as I finished Blake Watson’s legal academic book Buying America from the Indians, in tandem with listening through the second season of the This Land podcast about the current court cases that seek to dismantle the Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA).

Buying America from the Indians is a hard book to describe. I read it because I wanted a deeper understanding of the 1823 U.S. Supreme Court decision Johnson v. McIntosh that declared outright that Native American people—the people, if anyone needs reminding, who had been living on this continent for time immemorial or at least tens of thousands of years before Europeans showed up—couldn’t sell land because they didn’t own it. They had right of tenancy, wrote Chief Justice Marshall, but not right of ownership. Ownership, the decision declared, came only with discovery and “improvement”:

“Discovery is the foundation of title, in European nations, and this overlooks all proprietary rights in the natives. The sovereignty and eminent domain thus acquired, necessarily precludes the idea of any other sovereignty existing within the same limits. The subjects of the discovering nation must necessarily be bound by the declared sense of their own government, as to the extent of this sovereignty, and the domain acquired with it. Even if it should be admitted that the Indians were originally an independent people, they have ceased to be so. A nation that has passed under the dominion of another, is no longer a sovereign state. The same treaties and negotiations, before referred to, show their dependent condition. Or, if it be admitted that they are now independent and foreign states, the title of the plaintiffs would still be invalid: as grantees from the Indians, they must take according to their laws of property, and as Indian subjects. The law of every dominion affects all persons and property situate within it; and the Indians never had any idea of individual property in lands. It cannot be said that the lands conveyed were disjoined from their dominion; because the grantees could not take the sovereignty and eminent domain to themselves.”

Because these sovereign nations didn’t share Europeans’ conceptions about property ownership, the decision declared, their right to the land was washed away by European nations’ claims.

“They were admitted to be the rightful occupants of the soil, with a legal as well as just claim to retain possession of it, and to use it according to their own discretion; but their rights to complete sovereignty, as independent nations, were necessarily diminished, and their power to dispose of the soil at their own will, to whomsoever they pleased, was denied by the original fundamental principle, that discovery gave exclusive title to those who made it.”

(There’s a lot more and I’d like to say that it’s all very stomach-churning but that phrase is far too passive for a court decision whose underlying assumptions still dictate America’s legal stance toward land ownership today, including Native land ownership. “Unconscionable” is the word I’d like to use.)

Buying America is specifically about the history of a certain piece of land that a group of white men originally purchased from the Piankeshaw nation, and how changes in the law regarding ownership (bridging America’s Revolutionary War and the question of royal jurisdiction) played out over decades in legal battles, political corruption, broken treaties, and—its most consistent theme—land speculation.

One of the more interesting things about the early part of the book is how many legal arguments, as far back as the earliest settler-invaders, made the case that of course Native people owned the land they lived on. To assume otherwise, these authors said, was nonsensical. Watson includes extensive discourse on this evidence over several chapters before even getting to the Revolutionary War. These settler-invaders couldn’t conceive of a system where people didn’t “own” land but instead lived in relationship with it, but they likewise didn’t believe that they had an automatic right to claim it simply by appearing.

Unfortunately, as shown by the fact that Johnson v. McIntosh enshrined the Doctrine of Discovery (the 1493 papal bull that gave Catholic nations the “right” to own any land they came across and its resources, including its people as long as they were non-Christian) into U.S. law in 1823 and it is still in force to this day, those early arguments remain mostly the knowledge of historians like Watson.

Weirdly, Chief Justice Marshall went on to contradict his own decision in the 1832 case Worcester v. Georgia, stating that:

“The Cherokee Nation, then, is a distinct community occupying its own territory, with boundaries accurately described, in which the laws of Georgia can have no force, and which the citizens of Georgia have no right to enter, but with the assent of the Cherokees themselves, or in conformity with treaties, and with the acts of congress.”

“In fact,” writes Watson, “one can credibly argue that Worcester v. Georgia implicitly overruled Johnson v. McIntosh.” But the damage was done. With Johnson v. McIntosh, then-president Andrew Jackson had the tool he wanted to justify forced removal of several Native Nations to Oklahoma. The Choctaw and Chickasaw Nations suffered horribly in the forced removal, and one quarter to a half of Cherokee, Creek, and Seminole people died as a result of it.

Reading about the lengths that land speculators and political leaders (often the same people) were willing to go to steal Native land—and the ways in which they were willing to justify the theft to themselves—you can almost see later systems like reservations, allotments, and residential schools coming. The This Land podcast gives shape to the ensuing history, picking up the story where Worcester v. Georgia leaves off.

No matter what the other ideals of the Founding Fathers* were, their commitment to taking land was greater than anything else in the Constitution. Thomas Jefferson might have written that he had “sworn upon the altar of god, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man” (in an argument against establishing any form of Christianity as the U.S.’s official religion) and written repeatedly of an “empire of liberty” but he clearly had little interest in extending those ideals to the people who already lived on this continent and whose land he coveted (or anyone who wasn’t white). Jefferson wrote to William Henry Harrison (governor of the Northwest Territory and then the Indiana Territory and responsible for many land-grab “treaties”) that to facilitate greater transfer of land, he wanted to drive Native people into debt as quickly as possible. Watson quotes his letter verbatim in Buying America:

“‘[W]e shall push our trading houses, and be glad to see the good & influential individuals among them run in debt, because we observe that when these debts get beyond what the individuals can pay, they come willing to lop [them off] by a cession of lands.’ Jefferson urged Harrison to treat with the Kaskaskias and purchase ‘their whole country’ in light of the impending occupation of Louisiana by the French. ‘Whatever can be obtained,’ he advised, ‘must be obtained quickly.’”

Despite Jefferson’s stance against the establishment of a state religion, I wonder if he would have been opposed to residential schools, used as some of them were to force the relinquishing of land along with culture, language, identity, and life. No empire of liberty for those whose land he wanted.

Buying America portray’s a new nation’s leadership that could afford to see itself as generous in its ideals at first, but who were always ready to force Native Nations off of land when white people wanted it. And it soon became apparent that settlers would never be satisfied, would always want more and would always resort to nearly any means to get it.

This was true back in Europe, too, with England’s enclosure of the commons starting in the 1200s and accelerating in the 1400s and later; and the Highland Clearances, both practices of land theft—appropriation of land used by commoners for subsistence to the wealthy and ennobled, for their private profit—that led in the long run to many people fleeing or being forced to migrate to North America, where they thought that they might be free to carve out a little space to support their families.

But they brought the exclusionary land ownership mindset with them, both the entitlement of the wealthy to hoard as much land as they could (beginning with people like George Washington and many others who dove into land speculation on a massive scale right from the beginning), and its consequence: the terror of scarcity that had defined most Europeans’ lives for generations beyond count.

Some part of their minds must have told Europeans that if they could just get their hands on the land that North Americans lived on so freely that then they, too, could finally be free. But as long as they maintained fealty to the hard models of private property and land ownership that had made life on the European continent untenable for so many, only whose who started out with power and resources, no matter how ill-gained, could prosper, and at the expense of everyone else.

The podcast This Land starts with a season on land theft and continues into a second season on the efforts to further hollow out Native Nations and culture through the taking of children. Host Rebecca Nagle does a far better job of laying out and clarifying these stories than I could do summarizing them, but essentially I think it’s important to see the two practices as intertwined—the illegal taking of land and exerting control through taking of children.

I don’t know how to walk with all of this except to say that those of us who didn’t know much of this history before should learn it. And that no matter how high-minded some of the writers of the Constitution and Declaration of Independence were in some ways, I’m not sure I’ll ever again be able to see them as anything but land-hungry speculators looking for a quick way to get rich, no matter who suffered in the process.

One of the disconcerting things about learning history through the stories of more ordinary people—rather than what Patrick Wyman and others term the “Great Man” theory of history—is first of all coming to terms with knowing that there have never been accepted narratives of how things should be (otherwise you wouldn’t have revolutions and peasants’ rebellions and fights for human rights), even within a dominant culture; and facing the consistency with which humans can be either shitty or decent throughout that history.

The difficulty of coming to terms with this reality for many Americans is real. Christopher Columbus was nothing more than a “replacement-level” (Wyman again) merchant in debt. But those whose identities are bound up in seeing him as a bold explorer and discoverer, and George Washington and Thomas Jefferson et al. as noble patriots, find the teaching of such realities deeply offensive. When your identity is so fundamentally bound up in seeing the world in one particular way, any facts that undermine that worldview feel like an attack. Yuval Noah Harari put it succinctly in 21 Lessons for the 21st Century:

“If we are outraged that somebody insulted our nation or our god, what makes the insult unbearable is the burning sensations in the pit of our stomach and the band of pain that grips our heart. Our nation feels nothing, but our body really hurts.” 

—-

Several years ago, I had a short-term freelance gig writing an index for a book on the history of anti-Semitism. Writing an index is an intensive (and somewhat fascinating, for the logical/order-minded of us) that requires getting to know a book and its subject really well really fast.

It wasn’t pretty. Many of the stories spanning a 2000-year-plus period stuck with me, but the ones that have rooted most deeply are the ones related to the theft of children. There was the practice in Russia of taking Jewish boys as young as nine years old and forcing them to serve in the army, often undergoing torture to pressure them to convert to Christianity. (This is in addition to other limitations on Jewish people—I don’t know how widespread the knowledge is that in the Russian Empire, from 1791 to 1917, Jewish people were only allowed to live in what was called the Pale of Settlement, agriculturally marginal land located mostly in the Ukraine and Belarussia.)

And another story, of a case in Italy where a Catholic maid in a Jewish household secretly got their baby baptized. As a result, the parents later lost custody of their child—Jewish families were not allowed to raise Catholic children.

Histories of Jewish people after the rise of Christianity are full of restrictions, expulsions, limits, forced conversions, pogroms, and massacres—all efforts to eradicate both the religion and the culture. Many practices boiled down to, essentially, stealing children, either physically or spiritually, as well as evicting people from land they’d lived on for generations. In 2015, Spain officially apologized for expelling Jewish people from the then-Catholic country in 1492: 200-300,000 were told to convert to Catholicism, or leave (Spain offered the Sephardim, descendants of those expelled, citizenship when it made its apology).

Taking children as a way to control people is a theme that shows up in dystopian fiction for a reason: it exposes the two-sided coin of “civilization.” We’re sold it as progress, but its endpoint is the worst of humanity.

The obvious example is Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, where children are taken from undeserving parents and given to childless couples loyal to Gilead. In Octavia Butler’s Parable of the Talents, children are stolen from those deemed unworthy and raised in properly Christian households. In Cherie Dimaline’s The Marrow Thieves, First Nations people are the only ones in Canada who are able to dream anymore, and their kidnapping and medical experimentation is based on the brutal residential school system. In N.K. Jemisin’s Broken Earth trilogy, children are either taken or killed when they demonstrate orogeny, the ability to control rocks and tectonic forces (in other words, when they begin to show an ability to connect with land, which terrifies everyone else).

As I listened to the second season of This Land, I couldn’t help but think of those stories, and of all the real Jewish children forced into service or taken from parents at the whim of the dominant culture at the time.

In producing This Land, Rebecca Nagle does a tremendous job of laying bare the entities working to take down ICWA, from Christian church-affiliated adoption agencies and the parents who work through them (in an echo of the church-run residential schools), to the law firms whose ultimate goal is the revocation of Native sovereignty in its entirety—which would open up some of the last large oil, gas, and mineral reserves in the U.S. not already under their clients’ corporate control.

Buying America from the Indians unpacks a tremendous history with a rotting injustice at its heart. That 1823 decision, and the Doctrine of Discovery centuries before, wrapped the right to steal from and inflict horror on people within civilized-sounding legalese. Until the precepts behind these legal precedents are cracked open and dismantled, those injustices will continue to eat away at any pretense our societies have to being “civilized.” Rescinding the Doctrine of Discovery, and all that has followed from it, would be a momentous start. We** just have to be willing to see it for the unwanted dragon skin† it is and be ready to adapt to its absence.

In 1998, Matthew Fletcher, then a law student at the University of Michigan and now its director of Indigenous Law & Policy Center and a judge for several Nations, published a paper on what it was like to learn about Johnson v. McIntosh as a a member of the Grand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa Indians. How pivotal the case is, how much it still affects, and how briefly it’s dwelled on when the stories it hides are so enormous:

“The twenty minute talk about Johnson v. M’Intosh lasts only about ten seconds in the weird temporal scene in Hutchins Hall. Before it sunk in, the professor began talking about the property issues of fox hunting. I wanted to raise my hand, but what would I say?

The story was told. It was over. The wheels had been greased over time to make the story move so effortlessly, it made no ripple. No one will argue with it. No discussion. No dissent.

The story is huge. I cannot emphasize that enough. The story’s many strands and fibers contain the fate of ten million, or twenty million, or maybe even 100 million, people living in this land before the Vikings or Columbus arrived. Now imagine how many stories we all have, stories that shape us, define us, restrict us, lead us, teach us, and evolve with us. I have so many, I cannot keep track of them. And I always want more stories.

Now imagine how many stories there were in 1492 or 255 B.C. or 1823 in North America. Where did those stories go?”

A culture of domination requires control to function. It requires absence of nuance and knowledge. It requires that its hearers accept a shared narrative of history that casts the dominant culture in the best light, a narrative that becomes so powerful that millions find questioning it too painful to contemplate.

It doesn’t just want to keep Eustace within the body of a dragon, collecting gold and slowly dying of loneliness; it wants to erase any desire he ever had to be free of it. Keeping the real stories alive, reopening them and reframing history—no matter how painful the process to some—is the only way to ensure it doesn’t win.

*I would like another shorthand for this group of people that doesn’t deify them quite so much.

**I’ve written before about the difficulty of using “We”—I hope in this case “we” know who we are: the people who benefit from this system, but more importantly anyone anywhere who tries to prevent it from changing.

Absolutely nothing against dragons! I’d prefer they keep their own skins, in all their glory, and we try to find some honor in our own.

Discuss metaphors

Walking composition

“Angry people are not always wise.” ― Jane Austen, Pride & Prejudice

I was copy editing a 5th-grade teacher’s manual last week in which one of the unit goals was to have students “discuss metaphors.” I’d love to do that. Let’s discuss metaphors forever. Sometime back in the spring or early summer, when I thought I could really get a handle on the knapweed and thistles in my yard this year (which probably sent their roots laughing at me all the way to last night’s hard frost), I wrote about knapweed as a metaphor for white nationalism and thistles as one for patriarchy, and how inadequate and possibly unfair it is to weight toxic and invasive weeds with toxic aspects of humanity.

Metaphors do feel inadequate. And yet necessary. When we’re trying to meet people where they are, it’s most often metaphor of some kind that makes it possible—not necessarily invasive weeds, or the kind of metaphor used in, say, poetry, but the kinds of equivalencies we use to say, “My experience of X makes me feel the way you feel when you experience Y.”

Maybe that’s as close as we can get. Maybe that’s why I don’t want to turn everything into metaphors anymore: we need them for far more important purposes.

—-

Exactly four years ago, on October 31, 2017, I was on the coast of Norfolk, long out of phone service and extremely anxious about my prospects of getting a bus back from the tiny coastal village of Ostend to Norwich, where I was to catch a train to London and fly back home to Montana the next morning. (The chapter of the book this trip is in has a lot about buses, and what the difficulty of bus travel says about how much, or little, we respect people’s ability to get where they need to go; getting to Ostend was a bit of a mini-saga.) The Norfolk coast was a vital place—not vital as in important, more as in full of vitality, of life, of reminders that nature—life itself, especially water—is long and patient and will always overcome our efforts to control it. Places like this need no metaphor:

“The sea boomed unceasingly, crashing against rotting wooden reinforcements that had been build in 1953 after catastrophic floods, and the light was soft, hushed with gray, reminding me unexpectedly of St. Petersburg on a winter’s day when the light is brief and the air is eyelash-freezing cold. . . . I ran my hands along the black mounds hunched under the silt-and clay-packed cliffs. Knocking on them, they felt solid, like rock, but I wiggled a piece of flint that was sticking out from the side of one, and the black mud cracked and crumbled.”

I still have that piece of flint. It sits on my desk along with a very few other special rocks, including a chunk of obsidian that I’ve had since I was eight or nine years old and attending a week-long geology day camp. It’s from the day we learned (or tried to learn) how to chip obsidian into javelin points. That bit of obsidian has been with me ever since, telling me a story about my life. The shard of flint will, I hope, do the same.

—-

I had come to Norfolk to get as close to the village of Happisburgh as I could, the seaside village where a set of fossilized footprints had been found by a team from the British Museum. The footprints long since washed away—Happisburgh itself likely won’t last much longer before being claimed by the sea—but I wanted walk in this sea-battered place and imagine for a moment the lives of the hominins that had left those footprints behind so long ago that its relation to time is beyond metaphor. The day before, the British Museum’s head researcher had let me handle a block of resin that recreated one of the footprints; I wanted to see its origin location for myself.

“This footprint and its companions were never intended to leave a trace. They weren’t planted or crafted in that lonely cry to the universe, that ‘Here I am!’ that we wish could live for eternity. It’s just a step, and then another, a few minutes of everyday life for an everyday—possibly a family—living over 800,000 years ago. . . . They were walking south, along an estuary edge, putzing around, being human. They gathered, walked, and looked, and they left, unintentionally, this moment of their lives for us to meditate upon.

“They were here.”

What kinds of prints would we leave of our time, our lives, I wondered later? What paths and tracks, what stories in the ground beneath us will humans, if we’re still around, wonder about nearly a million years from now?

The hominins who left those prints are long since gone. Even their species is extinct. But the questions they evoke will never fade. For that, we need no metaphors.

—-

Some stuff to read or listen to:

  • Xenia Cherkaev in Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists on the multilayered fractures of trust that keep most Russians from getting vaccinated—through the perspective of a dog catcher dealing with laws that make no sense: “For many people in Russia today, the law is a web of regulations in which they seek loopholes to safeguard themselves and their social collectives from truly terrible outcomes.” (This was really well written; I opened it initially because I haven’t been to Russia in a few years but vividly remember the many packs of stray dogs roaming Moscow’s alleyways and staying warm in the metro stations.)

  • Author of Blockchain Chicken Farm (which I haven’t read but now kind of want to) Xiaowei R. Wang on the Team Human podcast talking about trust, scale, and tech in farming. (Thanks to Wang for introducing me to the term Metronormativity that “challenges so many binaries, like urban and rural as two disconnected places that have no relationship to each other.”)

  • I have no idea what Insurance Journal is, but it came up as a link when I was looking for an online version of this story that showed in my local paper about data centers and water usage (just to be clear, this is syndicated—it’s the exact same article that was in my paper). This is an issue I’ve been looking for more information about for years, and have seen very little reportage about. It’s something I think about every time I see someone strap on a GoPro to go skiing or mountain biking (or open Substack to write a newsletter)—what ecosystems are being put under pressure to satisfy our desire to archive our lives? The end of the article has a punch of a question that I suspect we all know the answer to.

  • Speaking of water, architecture professor Sara Jensen Carr has a fantastic long essay in Places journal on efforts in Honolulu to replace a legacy of heavily engineered water control with watershed management designed with Indigenous knowledge: “This is nothing less than a vision of an emergent watershed urbanism, a paradigm that, if integrated into planning policy, could move towards a reconciliation of landscape ecologies, Indigenous science, and economic justice, in order to assure that even a city like Honolulu can support all its inhabitants over the long term.”

  • Boston Review tackled a subject I’d love to see more thinking on—who owns our data? And how can we change that? The authors (unattributed) had an interesting approach, categorizing data as being in the realm of a public trust, similar to water and wildlife. I very much love the idea of the public trust, but as law professor Mary Cristina Wood demonstrated at length in her book Nature’s Trust, the idea of it with regards to nature was folded into environmental regulation and then heavily prone to what’s called “industry capture,” in which the industry that’s meant to be regulated ends up writing the rules. Unless we reinvigorate the ancient concept of a public trust to begin with, it’s hard to see how data would escape the same fate. It’s a good piece, though, with lots of reference to Upton Sinclair’s 1926 novel Oil!

  • The Smarty Pants podcast reshared a 2018 interview they did with Professor Nick Groom on vampire history. Far from being rooted in ancient mythology, Groom says that vampires were theorized or imagined just when the Enlightenment and its shaping of medicine and science rose into prominence: “[Groom] makes the case that vampires rose from the grave at the same time that philosophy, theology, forensic medicine, and literature were beginning to question what it meant to be human.”

Community and language

Walking composition

“Love is the extremely difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.” —Iris Murdoch

What happens to a word when people start talking about it as having lost all meaning? When it gets to the point where people call it hackneyed or cliched or empty. What happens to the word itself, the spirit of it? This shape and structure that humans have birthed into being and defined and argued over and then used until it’s limp and flattened.

I was thinking that about community the other day. I read something that talked about the importance of community—which I of course talk about all the time—and I thought, wow, that word seems to have lost all its power (not its meaning, yet, just its ability to make little sparks of possibility in the imagination) and wondered what exactly happens to a word when it loses its imaginative capacity, and, more importantly, how can we restore its internal fire?

—-

I love words. One of my never-realized ambitions was a short-lived one to become an etymologist. When I first started freelance copy editing I was living in Boston, and almost took someone up on their offer to help me find a job at the American Heritage Dictionary, an opportunity I regret not pursuing almost as much as I regret not having become a paleontologist or mathematician. Almost. I could see getting lost in those words, meandering around in the tales and histories inherent in the letters and pronunciations and meaning-mutations that follow language around. A word, when you start to explore it, can be as versatile and thrilling as the images at Lascaux when, I’ve heard, you watch them come alive under the flicker of an oil lamp.

—-

Community was on my mind last weekend, when I dragged my family to the opening of a low-barrier homeless shelter in the next town over, and immediately afterward to a small gathering at someone’s house. The two groups of people on completely opposite ends of what we view as a political spectrum, with so much more in common than is usually acknowledged. (I have opinions on which group does more acknowledging, but it feels like flattening discourse to articulate them. Except it’s hard not to be swayed by the first gathering’s frequent expressions of absolutism, where someone running for city council got into his truck afterward with the bumper sticker “Fake News Fake Science” in the rear-view window.)

The whole point of this newsletter, when I started it, was to be a companion to a book I was going to write about private property and the commons—and to be a place to explore those ideas when it was clear the book wasn’t going to happen in the conventional way. I knew at the time, because I’d spent over a year writing a 60-page book proposal on the subject, that the core of this question is how we live together.

A little over a year later and more posts the I thought I’d end up doing, and I feel like I have fewer answers than I did before. I live in a small town, in an area that for Montana feels heavily populated but for urban areas would feel extremely not-so-much.

There are so many intersections and relationships among people of different political and social persuasions here that you literally cannot make assumptions about anyone’s values or voting tendencies. (That’s probably true everywhere, even if we don’t normally see it. ) When I first moved back seven years ago it was with that knowledge, and knowing that the grit of living among variety-minded community could keep a place alive and resilient and questioning. And yet now things feel as entrenched and unmoving as they do in any other bubble, except we’re not in a bubble and we see people at school drop-off and in the coffee shop or library whom we have trouble trusting.

And still, we have no choice but to share space with people whose values clash with ours.

I don’t know what to do about it except keep building relationship, even when trust is scant. To find new ways to invigorate that beautiful word, that heartbeat of human life: community, comunete, communis. Us.

Bonus photo: Dilled beans in progress, or “what you can do with Mason jars when you’re not busting them in the freezer.” (On that subject, though, both my older sister and an old friend got in touch after my Mason-freezing update to inform me that they’ve never had a jar break in the freezer. My friend said the key is to never use shoulder jars, only straight-sided ones, and the link she sent me only recommends up to a pint size for freezing, all of which explains why my experiments destroyed the half-gallon jars.)

—-

Some stuff to read or listen to (apologies for the length—I’ve been doing a lot of local volunteer work and actual job work, which leaves time to read and listen but not a lot of time to swim in thought-rivers):

  • The Leakey Foundation’s podcast Origin Stories, unfortunately, doesn’t update on its website when it has a new episode out, or else I’d link to the most recent one about research into how wolves became dogs. If you’re interested (it’s good!), you can look up the episode in your podcasts, but in the meantime, the Foundation has a number of interesting past episodes on their website, including debates on the “obstetrical dilemma” and another on what fossil teeth can tell us about Neanderthal children.

  • Rubin Naiman in Aeon writing on sleep and dreaming and what we’re losing—even what we don’t know we’re losing—when we sacrifice dreaming for wakefulness: “Wake centrism is a subtle, consensual, sticky and addictive over-reliance on ordinary ways of perceiving that interfere with our direct personal experience of dreaming. To paraphrase the 16th-century British clergyman Robert Bolton, it is not merely an idea the mind possesses, but an idea that possesses the mind.Wake centrism is a flat-world consciousness.”

  • An actual land acknowledgment prose poem by CMarie Fuhrman (thanks to my mother for sending me this one): “Let us take a moment and acknowledge that this land was not stolen from the people whose language, culture, and religion was born of it; let us acknowledge that the people were stolen from this land. The people who celebrate this land with song, dance, ceremony; people who do not commodify and commercialize trees and water or call it resource. Here we pause to acknowledge that the land itself is rarely acknowledged.”

  • Bison rancher and writer Dan O’Brien talking conservation, land ethics, pessimism, and writing about people like Valentine McGillicuddy on the Backcountry Hunters & Anglers Podcast and Blast. I’ve never read one of O’Brien’s books but really enjoyed listening to him and might have to pick up one or two.

  • MIT Technology Review’s podcast In Machines We Trust has started a new oral history project interviewing people who were at at the forefront of AI development. The first is with Joseph Atick, who helped create one of the first facial recognition systems, and the dangers he came to see in the technology: “The issue of consent continues to be one of the most difficult and challenging matters when it deals with technology, just giving somebody notice does not mean that it’s enough. To me consent has to be informed. They have to understand the consequences of what it means.”

  • A fun story from the Flathead Beacon about Rod McIver, a local apple farmer who experiments with endless varieties and preserves fruit heirlooms (sent by a friend whose father used to be a smokejumper with McIver). Our raspberry bushes came from McIver; he’s kind of a local fruit farming legend.

  • Cognitive neuroscientist Anil Seth writing in Nautilus on the reality of embodied consciousness—a tricky piece I had some trouble grasping, but for you Murderbot fans Seth’s description of how emotions are simply moving targets that tell our brain how to protect us made me think a lot of Murderbot’s organic parts and how and why it experiences emotions: “Experiences of fear, jealousy, joy, and pride are very different, but they are more similar to each other than any one of them is to a visual experience, or to an auditory experience. Why is this? The nature of a perceptual experience depends not only on the target of the corresponding prediction, but also on the type of prediction being made.” (I do kind of prefer Murderbot’s phrasing “I had to have an emotion for a minute.”)

  • Also in Nautilus, a really interesting piece by Lukas Rieppel about how Gilded Age tycoons created the dinosaur in popular imagination through their extensive funding of paleontological research and natural history museums: “Dinosaurs lent themselves to the building of spectacular displays that attracted throngs of visitors to the museum, which was crucial to cement the argument that industrial capitalism could produce genuine public goods in addition to profits. Imposing dinosaur displays helped philanthropists such as Carnegie make the claim that because industrial capitalism concentrated wealth in the hands of the few, it unlocked the power for truly awesome achievements.” (This reminded me of a few conversations I’ve had recently about the difference between philanthropy, and actually advocating for and working toward structural change that would mitigate a lot of social problems to begin with.)

  • Kind of depressing but very interesting essay in Hakai Magazine by Laura Trethewey about research into microplastic pollution from car tires—tires work because they create friction, but that same friction leads to particle shedding and an estimated minimum of 28% of the oceans’ microplastic pollution: “A National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration study in 2016 did confirm the connection with research on hatchery salmon. When exposed to storm water collected from busy urban streets, coho die. And in December 2020, the University of Washington Tacoma researchers finally nailed the chemical so lethal to coho, a ‘globally ubiquitous tire antioxidant’ called 6PPD-quinone.”

  • The Subverse podcast had clean energy analyst and author of Windfall Ketan Joshi to talk about what a truly just renewable energy future would look like, and the kinds of mistakes we might be making if we pursue renewables without thinking about land and energy justice: “What I think people have a lot of difficulty dealing with is recognizing that those same problems might be replicated again in the future with different modes of extraction. Energy extraction techniques—planting machines into the ground—requires land.”

  • Two essays from Sapiens—one on research (investigating melting points of pottery and various metals, and microscopic diamanoid particles) into an asteroid explosion that might have caused the destruction behind the biblical story of Sodom; and a second on how excavations at the Israeli site of ‘Ubeidiya are opening up more debate about how and why Homo erectus migrated out of Africa 1.5 million years ago: “These ideas radically reimagine the capacities of ancient hominins. ‘Homo erectus was not a passive creature in its environment,’ Belmaker concludes. ‘It didn’t just go with the flow—“Oh, more grassland, I’ll move here”—but was an active factor in its own destiny.’”

  • Jean Kim in The American Scholar on what Squid Game says about the crises and traumas that Korea has experienced throughout the 20th century, and how its art reflects the realities of Korean inequality and uncertainty: “Although South Korea’s economic success has led to some waves of incoming immigration . . . the nation largely remains one provincially monocultural family crowded within half a peninsula and living mainly in high-rise buildings. With the advent of a stunning megarich class and, in equal measure, an exploited and indebted working class, all living on top of one another, both human ambition and embittered resentment cannot help but build.”

Chokecherry residue

Walking composition

“As we’ve come to understand, there is no such thing as the unknown. Only the temporarily hidden.” —James Tiberius Kirk, Star Trek: Beyond

I keep smearing chokecherry residue on my laptop.

—-

We had our first hard frost last night. The morning walk was full of all the wonderful sharp crispness that wakes me up from the summer grumpies. Some years ago when I worked in an office in Boston, a fellow copy editor introduced me to the word estivate, a form of summertime hibernation. So useful for those of us who enjoy winter and tend to shut down and go into minimal mode in summer, avoiding the sun and heat, and wondering what compels all these people to go on beach vacations.

My spouse and I went on a beach vacation once, before we had kids. I brought Proust with me, which was a terrible choice for reading on the beach because it was a nice edition and I had to keep brushing sand out of it, and I ended up drinking piña coladas all day, which I don’t even like, because I was so bored. The main excitement was shifting chairs around to chase the scant shade, though we did go swimming with stingrays once, which was pretty amazing. Amazing doesn’t actually cover it. This was so long ago now I have to sit back and pause, remember the feeling of their wide bodies resting on my forearms. I haven’t spent much of my life near the ocean aside from a year living in Australia; everything in and of it is a wonder to me.

Instead of stingrays, this morning’s walk included watching a couple of bucks fight it out clacking their horns together, scanning for any hint of snow on the mountaintops (none), and a ridiculous couple of male turkeys fanning out their tail feathers and chasing females. (I know this is how they’ve evolved but I find turkeys delightfully absurd, especially the males when they’re flouncing around spreading their feathers.)

Blurry bonus photo—I was trying to stop the dog from chasing after them so this isn’t a great shot, but actually those tail feathers can be pretty impressive at full spread.

I was reminded of something I thought about while in Yellowstone last week: what if no amount of digital tech, no matter how deeply embedded, will ever be able to compare to what we can experience if we connect fully with the world we already live in? Isn’t every living day already the most miraculous experience possible? And how far are we from even beginning to understand that?

Maybe that’s just my high after watching the turkeys and the bucks, and seeing a full double-rainbow the other day, and how it feels to walk among aspen trees rustling away turning gold in the fall. And knowing the thistles are going dormant for the year—they and the knapweed have defeated me for the time being, but at least I get a reprieve for a few months.

—-

I keep smearing chokecherry on my laptop because I’ve been squeezing chokecherries to make jelly and the residue seems to be embedded in my hands. Chokecherry jelly is a pain in the everything, even more of a pain than seedless raspberry jam, and I don’t know any way to ease the process. The pits are too big to squish through a Foley food mill, though you can squish them around in a conical sieve. I don’t know that that’s any more effective than simmering them for a bit, squishing them with a potato masher, and then squeezing handfuls as thoroughly as possible in a cheesecloth, over a sieve. It smells delightful and reminds me of washing laundry by hand, which is an experience I’m glad I’ve had and even gladder not to have to do anymore. It’s all a pain.

Nobody needs to make jelly. You can buy jelly, even chokecherry jelly somewhere, probably, like at a farmer’s market in places where chokecherry trees grow.

So why do it?

Because it makes me feel like living, like being alive. One of the trade-offs of forced commodification of everything is that we’re not meant to do labor that can be done for us, even if the labor brings us pleasure. Jam is easily purchasable, as are meat and canned tomatoes. And pickles and sauerkraut, and pre-split wood for the fireplace. And fruit leather and rustic wooden tables.

You can theoretically purchase intimacy and attention. For a long time in the Catholic Church you could purchase your way into heaven.

Commodification knows no ends. There is something about chokecherry residue on my laptop, as I type with Gregorian chant in my ears and thoughts of mountains and rivers and this whole beautiful mess of a web that we’re in together, that pulls me back from a brink I can’t see.

Thanks to the web page previously shared with me, I tried another freezing-liquid-in-a-Mason jar experiment after destroying 6 half-gallon jars with chicken broth. This time I chilled water in the jar in the fridge first. It . . . didn’t work. Mason jars are expensive enough that I’m not going to attempt this again, but if anyone has tried-and-tested ways of freezing liquids like chicken broth that don’t use Ziplock bags, I’d love to hear them (I’m going to browse around Food52 for something, as per Elizabeth’s suggestion; I was given silicone baggies as a gift but found the slide-on top difficult to use, and the whole shebang even more difficult to wash). Ziplocks are some of my stubbornest household single-use plastics. For now I’m resorting to buying some hard plastic quart containers like restaurant kitchens use. At least they’re reusable?

—-

Some stuff to read, listen to, or watch:

  • Paris Marx writing in Real Life on the pull of the myth that a decentralized web is possible without intentional social and political goals. Quoting a prescient 1994 article by Carmen Hermosillo, Marx writes that: “Counter to the boosterism of Wired, the electronic community, Hermosillo argued, benefited from a ‘trend towards dehumanization in our society: It wants to commodify human interaction, enjoy the spectacle regardless of the human cost.’” I liked the overview of early internet iterations in other countries, like the Soviet Union and Chile.

  • Last week I shared a one-minute video by George Bumann of the Junction Butte wolf pack in Yellowstone National Park, but I didn’t realize he’s a well-known artist. His 9-minute TEDx talk isn’t the most TED-ish talk I’ve seen (that’s likely a good thing), but it went in delightful and unexpected directions.

  • LinkedIn alerted me to an interview on the Women Who Walk podcast with an old friend, travel writer Carolyn McCarthy. Carolyn and I met in travel writing class in grad school, and since then she’s been a Fulbright Scholar and written 50 Lonely Planet travel guides. Her newest gig is communications direct for Tompkins Conservation, and the interview covers her life, travels (she’s lived in Chile for 15 years), perspective on conservation, and the distinction between sustainable tourism versus conscientious tourism: “It’s also important for travelers to make good choices and travel more responsibly or travel in a way that they’re going to try to connect more deeply with these cultures that they don’t just demand services and hot water in a place where there’s barely any water because they have to use cistern.”

  • I finished the second season of This Land podcast, on the U.S.’s Indian Child Welfare Act and heavily funded legal efforts to overturn it as part of a larger mission to get rid of Native sovereignty entirely. It was a hard story, one I had to walk a lot with, but not remotely as hard as living it would be. Highly recommended as essential listening. I have a lot of thoughts, but they’re tumbling out into an essay mixed with an almost-finished Buying America from the Indians, so more to come later.

  • Rebecca Tuhus-Dubrow writing in The American Scholar on 1950s sociologist Ervin Goffman and what masks—all masks, the faces and selves we present to the world—say about us: “If the pandemic has been an accidental sociological experiment, the results seem to support Goffman’s hypotheses. Even when people were not socializing, many were still focused intently on self-presentation—posting photos of freshly baked sourdough bread or of tidy closets they finally had time to clean. The virus gave us new behaviors to laud as socially valuable—physical distancing, handwashing, mask-wearing, and more recently, getting vaccinated. By the same token, it gave us new grounds for stigma: the refusal to do any of the above.”

  • Patrick Wyman recently published an edited version of his Substack essay on American Gentry for The Atlantic. I prefer the original—no diss meant to The Atlantic, which I generally enjoy—but the publication offered an opportunity for Wyman to expand on his ideas in an interview for Jacobin. The ending really nailed it, touching on the incredibly thick chain between local gentry and state legislatures (also county commissioners); I hope in the future he’ll write more about the actual consequences for everyone’s lives of these influences: “You instantly think, ‘This is a burgeoning member of the gentry and likely a future state legislator right here.’ . . . I think that guy, even if he never runs for Congress, even if nobody outside a pocket of a thousand people ever learns who he is, that guy has a lot of employees and people who are forced to work with him. . . . So the influence of this group in the aggregate is profound, because there are just tons and tons of tons of guys like that. That guy is everywhere.”

  • Mathematician Jordan Ellenberg writing in Nautilus about the research on how mathematically theoretical sandpiles behave when too much sand is added for them to remain stable. Even if you don’t read the essay, it’s worth scrolling through for the soothing fractal pictures of how sand avalanches and spreads, and there’s a related video of the avalanching movement that insists on creating order out of chaos.

  • The magazine Dark ‘n’ Light has a beautiful essay by Vena Kapoor—head of a Nature Classrooms project in Bangalore—on the “wonder and delight” of being taught to see spiders and their webs while researching the effects of pesticides on agriculture and human health. Despite how often we are awestruck by nature, even in microcosm, Kapoor writes, “we still seem to have a collective cognitive dissonance when it comes to nature, especially the many invertebrate life forms living alongside us.”

Of Wolves and Sensemaking

Walking composition

“While many will agree that colonialism is wrong, they cannot imagine a future without it.”
—Nick Estes,
Our History Is the Future

Last weekend I took a kiddo to Yellowstone National Park with the hope of seeing wolves. We hedged that hope, knowing that wolves are human-shy and the park is big, but a 5 a.m. wakeup was rewarded and we got to watch the Junction Butte Pack through borrowed spotting scopes for over two hours. I will never forget the look on my kid’s face, or my own feelings, when we saw a wolf for the first time, and later when we heard them howling. If I hadn’t had my hands and attention overly busy, I would have cried.

What is it about wolves?

I asked my older sister that question last winter, when our state legislature was passing bills in what felt like a frenzy of cruelty, among them newly permissive “limits” on the amount and variety of wolf-hunting. Allowing poisoning of wolves on private lands was just one method recently approved; use of snares another. There are plenty of other predators around, but only wolves (and coyotes to some extent) seem to evoke this level of hatred. And yet at the same time they have an attraction that’s almost primal, even the very idea of a wild wolf pack prompting a sense of awe and wonder, their howl enough to make twenty or so people on a frozen hillside fall instantly silent.

Other predators don’t attack livestock in the same way, my sister pointed out. It might just be as simple as that. When you’re raising sheep or cows or other meat/wool animals to support your family, losses to predation are a blow, a stewing pot for conflict. I can only guess here (based on our recent experience losing chickens to a grizzly bear), but it might feel as uncontrollable and as frustrating as water damage, or relentless wind.

Yet underneath that is the millennia-old urge to control nature, to quash it and bend it to our will. We should be able to do what we wish to and with the world and hang the consequences, right?

We used to visit Yellowstone to camp and fish when I was growing up (we didn’t live far), but wolves weren’t reintroduced until 1995, when I was in college. I don’t know if there’s a difference in how the place feels, if the ecosystem’s interoception of itself has shifted. But after watching and listening to those wolves, I don’t want Yellowstone to be without them again. I don’t want the world to be without them. How to make that a reality for the future is a purely social problem.

—-

Yesterday I went for a walk with a friend, and asked if she minded picking chokecherries with me. I’m late on preserving and canning anything at all this year. I’ve only this week got a batch of pureed plums dehydrating for the winter’s fruit leather, haven’t canned any tomatoes or pickles, and for the first time in over a decade have made exactly zero jars of jam. Walking past the chokecherry trees that happily populate the town in any random spot makes me feel guilty and overwhelmed, even though almost nobody in my family eats very much jam. Here’s this food, nutritious and free and forage-able and there’s plenty of it, and aside from the bears’ obvious consumption (it’s not just that lower branches are stripped clean; finding piles of bear scat full of chokecherry seeds is a dead giveaway) it’s just going to waste. Even the birds don’t seem to touch them much.

So we climbed fences and pulled handfuls to fill my Costco-sized M&M container and now the chokecherries sit in the fridge waiting for me to finish the plum fruit leather and perhaps get around to freezing the piles of shishito peppers collected from our farm shares. And then turn the cabbages into sauerkraut before they wither away.

I didn’t start canning and preserving stuff until about the month my first baby was born. He’s now a teenager, and still the process of skinning peaches and stewing tomatoes and wondering what I might be able to do with the ubiquitous mountain ash berries brings me back to that tenuous time, recovering from emergency surgery and near-liver failure, a premature baby spending weeks in neonatal intensive care. The ways in which care and husbandry and self/preservation began to define my days and then my life.

Before going walking and harvesting with my friend, I’d been listening to a podcast interview with Jamie Wheal, a writer and thinker (aren’t we all thinkers?) among several aiming to bring shape and sense back to what’s sometimes called our collective epistemic meaning crisis. Or something. Epistemology always confuses me. Making meaning of meaning. Of life. Isn’t that what we’re all attempting all the time?

Listening to “sensemakers” generally leaves me a little irritable—as any of my family members can attest to, I hate being told what to do, and that extends to how to make sense of the world, even as I’m constantly searching for ways to make sense of the world—but I do appreciate the way that people like Wheal and Daniel Schmachtenberger frame problems, if I don’t always find their proposed answers very practicable.

Somehow Wheal’s ideas blended into an interview I’d heard earlier with Eric Laursen on anarchy and the modern state. The way he presented anarchy—which I’ve never been attracted to but he made a lot of points I’ve never heard before—gave me a new frame for libertarianism as basically anarchy except with private property and all its attendant oppressions as a prime religion.

Both anarchy and libertarianism seem to be dependent on what Kate Raworth calls the unpaid or terribly underpaid caring economy, and the sensemaking crowd often seems to add the same as more of an afterthought, if at all (Wheal has been better than most on that front): the people who care for children and elderly people who need it, who teach and clean and nurture. The people who think about how to do each of those jobs better, to provide more not in material goods but in love and attentiveness. On whose backs and shoulders are built others’ personal empires.

But maybe all of our personal empires are to some extent, no matter how small. I might have picked my own chokecherries, but bees made the honey that someone else harvested for sweetener and the Mason jars and lids are manufactured somewhere, by someone.

—-

We were very fortunate to meet Rick McIntyre, author of The Rise of Wolf 8, The Reign of Wolf 21, and the forthcoming The Redemption of Wolf 302—none of which I’ve read but my kiddo is halfway through Wolf 8. McIntyre took the time to chat with us for a while about the Junction Butte Pack and their behavior. (I love meeting generous, down-to-earth writers.) We met other people who had come from all over the U.S., who caught the wolf bug decades ago and in some cases spend their vacation time every year going to Yellowstone to watch wolves. It was the first time I’ve ever been in a large group of people who unflinchingly share my kid’s adoration of wolves.

I haven’t told her yet that the shivers we got listening to the pack howl coincided within a day to hunters killing three members of the pack just outside the park boundaries.

McIntyre told us about a movie we might like but because I hadn’t brought pen and paper with me up the hillside, I didn’t write it down. When we got home from a six-hour drive in the rain, I poked at my laptop with variations on the keywords “wolf reindeer herding Siberia story” until hitting on the result—a French movie titled Loup, which tells the story of a young boy responsible for a reindeer herd in Siberia, but who risks betraying his people by forming a relationship with a wolf family.

While trying to find the movie, I came across several papers and stories about wolves in reindeer-herding territory—the problems that Indigenous reindeer herders in Finland have with predation, and how financial compensation can’t always make up for the mental stress, along with a totally-lacking-nuance-or-much-context-but-still-informative story about “super packs” in Siberian herding areas (caution: graphic photos) and a science article from Norway on the outdated notion of wolf “alphas” and hierarchies. Reminders that “how do we live with wolves?” is more complex than I’d like it to be.

None of it fully answers the question of the cruelty and the hatred. Like with bison in cattle-ranching areas of Montana, you can probably boil it down to an identity that has its own form of care, its own notion of how our world should function. One that doesn’t include wolves.

But it does. For now. I’m grateful for that.

Bonus photos: Just a couple of iconic Yellowstone shots to add to the bison above (they were in a huge herd but I neglected to take any herd photos because the male here was acting hilariously trying to get the female’s attention), among bugling elk and mazes of thermal pools, springs, and geysers. I’d forgotten how amazing this place is.

—-

Some stuff to read or watch:

  • For anyone interested in learning more about “induced demand,” the reason that widening roadways doesn’t reduce traffic (discussed in my last essay), David Zipper’s recent piece in Bloomberg CityLab has a good explanation—more importantly, it explains why the answer of widening highways seems to be so intractable, no matter how many times it fails to solve the problem. One reason: “The federal government doesn’t penalize states for getting their congestion mitigation estimates wrong, as TxDOT did in spectacular fashion with Houston’s Katy Freeway, widened in 2011 to as many as 26 lanes at a cost of $2.8 billion, half of which came from federal funds. The next year, an article in the Houston Chronicle declared the project a success: ‘What was once a daylong traffic jam is now for the most part smooth sailing.’ But by 2014, most peak-hour commutes on the Katy took even longer than they had before the expansion. . . . Gas taxes further distort decision-making, because collected revenues often go straight to state departments of transportation — just as they did 90 years ago.” (Emphasis added.)

  • One of the lovely things about my day job copy editing children’s textbooks is getting sent trade books with stories I might never have come across. A recent one I really liked was Tani’s Search for the Heart, by brother and sister author/illustrator team Keith and Chenoa Egawa, of Lummi and S’Klallam descent. A short video on Vimeo gives an overview of the story and their process.

  • Full Grown People is back! I’m guessing many of you have never heard of this online magazine, which publishes personal essays on the messy adult years and is edited by Jennifer Niesslein, original co-founder and editor of Brain, Child Magazine, which saved my sanity in many ways in the early years of motherhood. FGP has been on hiatus while Niesslein wrote a book about American nostalgia, but has returned with an essay by Jody Mace, on dementia and mysteries and the loss of her father: “When is the exact moment that it’s best to make someone measurably safer but at the cost of making them immeasurably sadder?”

  • A restful 18-minute video via Aeon on a Japanese dye and fabric producer outside of Kyoto who has spent the last few decades rediscovering natural plant dyes and their processes.

  • I had to read Faisal Devji’s essay in Aeon, “What is ‘the West?’” a few times. It reminded me of a comment on a book that a colleague recommended to me a few months ago about how colonialism never ended; it’s just that it’s finally starting to affect white communities. Devji writes of Gandhi’s ideas regarding the colonial project as one that would be ultimately self-destructive: “Modern civilisation, in other words, was a kind of parasite that would grow strong and spread via its European host. Europe would enable it to globalise and attack other parts of the world. Its driving logic was not European domination: that was just a means to an end.”

  • Shannon Mattern’s wide-ranging essay about the need to start truly thinking like trees, and learning from them, rather than relying on shallow algorithms to dictate our choices, in Places Journal: “Just imagine! Wouldn’t that be grand? An algorithm that could calculate how many trees would atone for the historical and contemporary inequities of urban planning and environmental injustice, that could undo processes of deforestation wrought through centuries of colonial violence, that could heal a landscape destroyed by clear cutting? . . . Or maybe not. As trees become data points, they are all too readily cast as easy fixes for profound problems.”

  • We were far across the valley from the Junction Butte Pack, so photos weren’t even an option, but I found this 1-minute video from artist George Bumann of the same pack running and frolicking. It’s like prayer in motion.

When a problem is systemic (or, you can't solve for traffic)

Essay

Several people have sent me notices of the Wall Street Journal Facebook investigation and, although I haven’t read it yet, I do appreciate it. (I’m not putting in a link because it’s paywalled, but here is a summary from the Los Angeles Times.) In return, I recommend this recent episode of Your Undivided Attention on the subject, with Tristan Harris and Daniel Schmachtenberger. What do we do, the host asked Schmachtenberger, with technology that has such enormous influence over our lives? To which he answered:

“As we follow an exponential curve of power, there’s this core governance question of, we’ve never done all that good of a job being great stewards of power, and now we have radically increasing exponential power. How do we govern it?”

The main reason I follow futurist and tech conversations like these is that, having spent a couple years immersed in research on how a car-centric worldview took over and fractured our lives, I deeply believe that in a century we’ll see similar damage caused by a failure to define the roles of digital technologies like social media. The history of the battle against car dominance is one of extensive pushback in the 1920s in particular, followed by automobile interests forming think tanks that served as feeders into government, where pro-car people were able to shape a future around cars and highways rather than people and communities.

(That’s a very sweeping description of a more detailed history—good books related to the subject include Jane Jacobs’s The Death and Life of Great American Cities and Richard Rothstein’s The Color of Law, and more specifically Peter Norton’s Fighting Traffic and Jeff Speck’s Walkable City, my own book A Walking Life, and Tom Vanderbilt’s four-part series “The Crisis in American Walking” in Slate.)

I spent a good chunk of my book writing about this, so I don’t want to repeat it all here, but when talking about walking I often find that people focus on the pleasant aspects of it—the mental health, the connection to nature, the physical release and creative depth, among the countless other benefits, all of which are real—and forget the key point, which is that in North America we have spent a century creating a world where walking as a way of life is almost impossible.

The damage this shift caused is incalculable, from the nearly 40,000 deaths in car crashes each year in the U.S. (over 6,000 of those pedestrians and cyclists, and these numbers do not count severe injuries like loss of limbs, paralysis, traumatic brain injuries, or the estimated 20,000 near misses every year) to the air pollution caused by exhaust (which likely contributes to health issues from Alzheimer’s to miscarriages to reduced lung capacity in children who grow up in high-traffic areas) to micropollution from abrasion of tires on the road to climate change. The weight of cars on our lives, on this planet, is more immense and comprehensive than most of us seem able to comprehend.

And yet the deepest damage might be one of imagination.

Our views of how we get places is so entangled with driving that it’s rare to find regular drivers who can envision a car-free life. Who can see their own community as a place where a child could roam to school or a friend’s house without fear of being run over. Our collective minds have been colonized by the car.

I was at a presentation a couple of weeks ago, online, given by the consultants and PR representatives hired by Montana’s state department of transportation to come up with a redesign for the highway that runs through the center of my town. The group was great. They’d worked hard and really thought things through. And if you didn’t have knowledge of the rigid systems that force states and cities to spend money on cars and traffic rather than promoting literally any other form of mobility, you’d leave the meeting thinking that the redesign option they came up with—which involves adding a lane each to two already busy roads—was the obvious choice. One we have to accept because it’s the only one that truly eases traffic congestion.

When we talk about problems being systemic, this approach to road and highway design is a case in point. How federal road money is spent depends on easing traffic, not on building places where people can live and work and move around under their own power. Federal guidelines are packed with rules about how roads can be built and what needs should be considered, and pretty much every single one of them is from the perspective of “how can we make driving faster and more seamless?”

One of the most useful resources in this sphere is the podcast Talking Headways, which is about transit and all of the issues surrounding it, which means it includes a lot about American society’s addiction to the car. Take a recent episode with Zabe Bent, director of design for the National Association of City Transportation Officials. If federal transportation funding were visualized as a food pyramid, Bent said, almost every single category would be full of cars, with all the other ways we get around packed into the final section.

It’s how you end up with things like this incredibly dangerous intersection in front of our local middle school and right near the highly pedestrianized town center, where I have almost been hit by drivers on multiple occasions—when people are turning left or right, they’re often doing it at speed and not paying any attention to whatever else is going on in the road.

I’ve been asking the state for a scramble crossing at this location for a few years now purely for the safety of the middle school students who have to navigate the intersection at particularly high-volume traffic times, but so far to no avail. And there’s a reason for that. Or several hundreds of pages of reasons, resulting in systemic barriers to change.

Bent and the host discussed at length the MUTCD (Manual on Uniform Traffic Control Devices for Streets and Highways, a document originally published in 1971 that regulates traffic control devices on public roads, most recently updated in 2009), and brought up the recent slate of public comment on proposed changes—over 25,000 comments (mine among them), most asking for a complete revamp of the way we envision our roads. To finally prioritize mobility and safety of people over ease of car travel. A selection of those comments are compiled on America Walks’s website, the general theme being that the manual is outdated and actively prevents communities from designing safe, livable streets. “American streets are unsafe because of how they are designed,” wrote Beth Osborne, director of Transportation for America. “And the way they’re designed often comes down to five letters: the MUTCD.” An attorney with the Southern Poverty Law Center called the document a “relic.”

Whether or not those comments will result in meaningful change is up in the air right now, with no word on the feedback from the people in charge of the MUTCD, the people who have the power to improve it.

One way problems become systemic is by being written into some obscure guideline like the MUTCD where almost no normal person is ever going to hear of it, and then leaving people to wonder why, to take one example, it is so hard for pedestrians to cross a street. As Bent pointed out, requesting a pedestrian signal at a crossing usually gains no traction until five people have been killed at that location. How many people are aware of that rule? And of how little sense it makes unless you understand that traffic engineers’ number one priority is to enable speed?

I don’t know how my city managed to get a pedestrian signal at this other location, which is a popular crossing for kids going to the elementary school. I’m glad they did. But no version of beg button is going to make this already extremely busy road—a federal highway heavily used by logging trucks—safe if another lane is added to it, as is planned by the state DOT. Years ago I gave up counting the number of days my kids and I pushed the button at this crossing and then waited as people drove blithely past, often looking down at their phones rather than at the roadscape.

The number of people hit and killed by drivers in the U.S. has risen 45% in a decade. But that reality will not stop the widening of this road.

(I have little sympathy for the tendency to blame distracted walkers. A human walking, biking, rolling a wheelchair, etc., is not maneuvering several thousand pounds of deadly machinery. It’s just not a realistic comparison. And walkers could be as distracted as they liked if we didn’t have a world built for cars rather than people.)

When I went to this presentation, which I again attended in person at a recent open house evening, no matter which way I phrased the damage this would cause in our community—decreased sidewalk space, severed access to a walkable school route for large numbers of kids, increased exhaust fumes (which in our town is no joke, as an inversion layer keeps particulates at breathing level for many months of the winter), noise, the high stress levels that come from having to live in or navigate areas with high traffic, and always, always induced demand because it’s been shown repeatedly that the only long-term change you get with added highway lanes is more driving—the very capable and informed consultants and PR people answered with some version of “meeting the needs of users.” By which they did not mean “helping your community shape a livable future, which is what your steering committee said you want” but simply “making it easier for drivers to get through town.” That’s it. That’s the only true priority the state asked them to consider because that’s the only priority that gets you funded.

(A bit of an aside, but it’s maddening that fostering biking and walking isn’t considered as part of reducing traffic congestion. How many cars would be taken out of the traffic equation, making it less congested for people who just need to drive through town, if large numbers of people could safely walk or bike places within town?)

In a recent episode of his Strong Towns podcast, engineer and planner Charles Marohn read an excerpt from his forthcoming book Confessions of a Recovering Engineer, in which he detailed how the values of speed and volume are baked into road design, in ways that most people will never see:

“At the foundation of traffic engineering of deeply infused values. These values are so deep and so core to the profession that practitioners do not consider them values. They bristle at the suggestion. For practitioners, these values are merely self-evident truths. . . . This would not be a problem, and we could allow the profession to retain their sacred texts and practices unchallenged by heretical viewpoints, if they could find a way to address the damage traffic engineering is doing to our communities. They cannot do this for a simple reason: The damage being done is a culmination of those values.”

The values of the traffic engineering profession, he says, in order of importance, are:

  • traffic speed

  • traffic volume

  • safety

  • cost

These values aren’t American values, says Marohn. “They’re not even human values.”

This isn’t sustainable and yet it’s what’s baked into our system, along with other designs most of us don’t notice, like how corners are often steeply curved to make it so that drivers don’t have to slow down as much when they turn—resulting, again, in reduced safety for pedestrians.

Or the super wide lanes designed to make it easy for large numbers of drivers to move quickly but resulting in an almost impossible crossing for pedestrians and cyclists:

The particular road pictured above usually has a lot more traffic, and has been a known barrier and danger for years. My city recently finished building a pedestrian tunnel underneath it using grant funding—a demonstration of the kind of infrastructure we can manage when we’re focused on a livable future rather than short-term traffic reduction.

There is a tremendous amount of writing and research out there on these subjects. Peter Norton’s book Fighting Traffic: The Dawn of the Motor Age in America gives an extensive history on how we lost the right to our streets, not because we somehow wanted a car-dependent life but because it was imposed upon us:

“In most cities for most of the 1920s, engineers fought traffic by restricting the private automobile. They treated the private car less as an intruder upon the rights of street railways than as an abuse of the street as a public service.”

The reality of car dominance—which entailed confining pedestrians to sidewalks and the formalization of car-favoring signals that eventually led to guidelines like the MUTCD—came to define our streets not because it worked for people and communities, but because it was necessary for cars to become integral with middle class American life: if driving means being stuck in traffic, buying a car becomes much less attractive. No matter how many people died as a result of speeding drivers, the automobile industry objected to any limits on speed within cities:

“An auto industry executive later explained that ‘the motor car was invented so that man could go faster’ and that ‘the major inherent quality of the automobile is speed.’”

This is the system we’re stuck with today, one structured around enabling speed for the private driver and reducing congestion, no matter what the ambient cost, even to drivers ourselves. You could widen highways enough to cover half my valley, crush the town center, and it would be considered a win if it reduced traffic congestion for five to ten years. And then what?

With the planet projected to have ten billion humans by the middle of this century, I have to wonder what people think our communities will look like if we insist that every single person get where they need to go by car.

We might want less traffic or a faster drive, but have we thought about what are we truly willing to sacrifice for it?

In another Talking Headways interview, Melissa and Chris Bruntlett, authors of the book Curbing Traffic: The Human Case for Fewer Cars in Our Lives, discussed what it’s like to live in a city (Rotterdam in their case) that prioritizes human mobility over car access. Many articles over the years have dissected the fact that bicycle-friendly Holland used to be full of car-packed cities just as the U.S. is. But, the Bruntletts explained, a shift occurred when “shock” became too much for the Dutch system to absorb:

“The example we use of the Netherlands in the 1970s was this outside shock of an oil crisis, a gasoline shortage—six weeks of car-free Sundays and the sale of bicycles doubling, this was really a turning point where the Netherlands said, ‘A car-based mobility system, a car-dominated mobility system, is no longer acceptable for us as a society because it’s so fragile to outside shocks.’ . . . As a result now, the Netherlands is much better placed to deal with these outside shocks and fuel shortages and extreme weather and the like. Inversely, the United States, which was subject to the same oil crisis, pursued an engineering resilience and went right back to its original state, maybe even doubling down or tripling down on this car dependence and dominance.”

And as I wrote about in my book and the Bruntletts evidently talk about in theirs, a car-dependent mobility system damages the independence and freedom of both children and people who for reasons of age or disability cannot or don’t drive. It never seems to occur to complainers of “kids these days” spending too much time on their phones that we’ve built a world where children have zero option but to be driven places by their parents—why wouldn’t they connect with friends in any way they could? Many of them literally cannot walk places; there’s nowhere to go. (The Bruntletts also discuss some of the damaging mental health effects to children living long driving distances from schools or activities, leading to lost sleep, greater stress, and higher levels of depression.)

In my book, I also wrote about my grandmother, a wonderfully independent woman who lost much control over her own life when she was diagnosed with macular degeneration in her mid-80s and could no longer drive. The Bruntletts said that with our longer lifespans, people are living on average 7-10 years past the age when they can realistically drive. And yet we continue to demand a world that prioritizes the private car above all else, buying into a mirage of freedom and convenience that’s been sold to us.

“The automotive city took back much of the freedom it promised,” wrote Norton in Fighting Traffic.

“When street users are free to use cars, the freedom of all street users (including motorists) to use anything else is diminished. A city rebuilt (socially and physically) to acommodate cars cannot give street users the good choices a truly free market can provide.”

But the deepest issue here, to go back to the main point, is that the vision of ourselves as drivers rather than residents—rather even than as citizens—has embedded itself into our psyches and our bodies. When the consultants for Montana’s state DOT explain that their new highway design is necessary to ease traffic, even the most progressive-minded finds it hard to argue. This is the true damage caused by our car-centric century, that we cannot find it in ourselves to imagine the kinds of deep change that would make our communities truly livable, much less imagine ways to enact that change.

This is why chatter about the Wall Street Journal investigative series on Facebook is actually important. Digital technology is clearly going to define our lives at least as much as cars and highways have. We have little idea what kinds of effects, good and bad, it will have on future generations. But we can look at what happened with cars and act accordingly.

Returning to the Tristan Harris and Daniel Schmachtenberger conversation on Facebook, AI, and digital tech in general, I appreciated Schmachtenberger drilling down to the core issue not just of governance but of democracy, and the lost understanding that democratic, representative government is meant to be government of, by, and for the people:

“The whole thing with ‘we don’t trust Washington’ is, Washington was never meant to be a thing separate from a for and by the people governance. It’s supposed to be that the state was given the ability to regulate predatory market interests while still allowing healthy market interests to ensure the values of the people that were encoded into law. . . . But the state could only check the market if the people checked the state. . . . When the people stop checking the government, the government gets captured by the market.”

(I know this is an idealized vision of democracy, maybe especially in the U.S., but the general point stands. Though I hesitate to define a time in U.S. history when the government wasn’t captured by the market, and wonder if it’s more a matter of degree.)

We’ve seen what happens when industry insiders and monied interests get to control both the conversation and the policy. We get freeways smashed through neighborhoods, humans cut off equally from access to jobs as well as to nature, almost incalculable damage to the biosphere that’s necessary for our survival, a society that serves the car rather than the car serving us. And a population persuaded that this is a life we want.

Our collective relationship to cars is, frankly, the main issue that makes me fairly fatalistic on climate change. To make any meaningful progress, car travel can still be possible but car dependency needs to go. Electric cars and autonomous vehicles will not solve the problem; as urbanist Coby Lefkowitz has written, “Simply transitioning to electric vehicles does nothing to address the underlying cause for our unsustainable living patterns in which private vehicles are the default mode of moving from place to place” (not to mention the rare earth metals needed for electric car batteries).

There’s no question on this. But if you want to get deeply involved in community change that could make a big difference in quality of life, try getting middle class parents to stop driving their kids to school. Or just listen to complaints about the school “car line” as people wait to drop off their kids in vehicles that have grown nearly to the size of a Sherman tank. Theoretically, many of my fellow moms, for example, care deeply about climate change. But not enough to try to find a way to make the school “car line” unecessary and nonexistent. Not yet anyway. And it’s not like I’m not part of this problem. Most days I walk or bike my kids to and from school because I’m lucky enough to have that kind of flexibility. But not all of them, and then my car is there, too, heaving its outsized way across a community that deserves better.

Cars have become an extension of many people’s personal identities—even mine—and driving places has become part of how we see ourselves existing in the world. Until we can begin to purge that self-image, we’re not going to make much progress on building a world that doesn’t demand car dependence.

I don’t like being stuck in traffic any more than anyone else. But what I like less is a world where I have little choice but to drive—the world I currently live in. Changing that reality, especially in areas like mine where public transportation is almost nonexistent, is going to require a paradigmatic shift in the value system of road engineering and an equally paradigmatic shift in our own willingness to change the way we see ourselves getting around. The problem is deeply systemic, and the solutions are going to have to be, too. We have to learn where car-centric planning dictates our lives, and face our own role in perpetuating it.

Change is possible. The first step is breaking our imaginations out of the driver-shaped mold they’ve been forced into.

Until that happens, we’ll continue expanding roads in the name of easing traffic. Sacrificing our health, our ecosystems, and our freedom, and making livable communities that much more out of reach for every subsequent generation.